Dear fellow men,
I have an apology to make, in my previous article I was addressing mostly women, when I should have been addressing the men. See the feminists are right about one thing: if the world is going to change, it needs to be the men who do it, because the women won’t even change a light bulb. Here in this article I’m going to explain to us neanderthals about several issues in gender equality that need to be addressed, because we men just aren’t doing our share. The feminists have done all of the thinking for us, now it’s time for us to do the doing.
Gender Divisions in Labour
See, those bright feminists figured out a while back that our society divides labour into “men’s work” and “women’s work”. For example if it’s in-doors then it’s women’s work, but if it’s out-doors then it’s men’s work. Hence women cook and clean inside the house, but men cook on the BBQ and mow the lawn because it’s outside of the house. Feminists have been working hard to address this imbalance by getting more women to be doctors, scientists, lawyers, politicians, academics, bosses and leaders. But they’ve failed utterly with helping more women break into men’s work in factories, plumbing, electronics, combat and garbage collection.
How can we tolerate this? We’re willing to give women more powerful and prestigious positions in society but we won’t give them the privilege of picking up our garbage, being horrifically mutilated in a trade or sifting through other people’s refuse? This needs to stop, and we men can do something about it. Tell all your female friends that enough is enough, they too can be on the front line getting shot at, electrocuted, poisoned by noxious gases and worked to death for a starvation wage. Sure, some women do, but as the feminists have told us repeatedly: until women are equally represented as bosses, politicians and intellectuals in all levels of society there can be no talk of equality, so until women are equally represented to men in these work forces we cannot tell ourselves we live in an equal society. If we can’t find enough women to take all of these positions then we’re just going to have to kick them out of the house until they realise what’s best for them: the end of these unfair career barrier for women! Remember, a stay at home mother is a shameful thing to be because men don’t appreciate the work women do in the home… even though many of them are happy to support women when they’re not bringing in an income.
The objectification of women is a serious concern and when it comes to the objectification of women, no one does that better than women themselves. Women’s magazines, the fashion industry and social hierarchies based on how attractive one looks. Women need some help from men here. Firstly, they need to have it explained to them that porn barely exists compared to the sheer volume of women’s magazines written by women for women to denigrate women. The next time your female partner is pouring over the Goss & Glam section of MX or espousing the virtues of Lady Di over Camilla Parker Bowles, point out to her that she’s judging the worth of her fellow woman purely on account of how she looks: Diana attractive = good, Camilla ugly = evil. Secondly, that if they want to stop the objectification of women they need to take the “face” off the person. Anonymous internet chat rooms are the ultimate in “subjectifying” people because it stops people from objectifying other people as “male”, “female”, “sexy”, “ugly” etc and instead it allows one to actually appreciate the subjective qualities of a person: their intelligence, their empathy, their understanding, their morality etc…
However, almost every woman I know wants to go out to get to know someone, they just want to judge them by their looks or their physical attributes it seems. We men need to protect women from their incessant urge to objectify themselves, fortunately we at least have the thoughtfulness to hide our porn from their sight. So I’m proposing we men all start wearing “brurkas” to cover our faces and bodies to stop women from judging us on our looks. No woman should ever know what her future husband looks like or is like in bed before their wedding day. This objectification of men by women has to stop! If a woman should stoop so low as to ask to see your face or touch your body, be strong and don’t let her do it, she needs to discover what men are like without the objectifying contamination of our sexuality. If she persists, shame her for treating you like an object because of your sexuality. Fortunately this isn’t likely to happen because feminists assure us that women’s judgement of men is never clouded about by their perception of our sexuality.
Some of you might have been thinking that women are pathologically jealous of porn because it competes with their best effects to extort people by manipulating their appearance. Some have even been so crazy as to suggest that what women are really afraid of is being rejected by men. This is of course absolute rubbish because the feminists have informed us that women don’t need men and they don’t need our acceptance of them. So here’s what we’re going to do to address this problem: Hide our porn collections and tell our girlfriends and wives how wonderful they are, and how lucky they are to not need us or recognition of their value to us because they’re so awesome. Remember, women don’t need to reciprocate this feeling of admiration and respect back to us men because we’re hardened stone-hearted warriors with no emotions and so we can handle being ignored and unappreciated, but those esteemed and confident women need to be the centre of our lives at all times.
Perv Walk (AKA Slut Walk)
Slut walk is a very misunderstood movement. Most people think slut walk is about making it clear that it’s not good to rape a woman because of how she’s dressed. However, it’s a little bit more precise than that. It is about correcting a misunderstanding: Women dress like sluts, not because they want to be raped, but because they want to be perved on. However, there just weren’t enough men out supporting the women in getting this message across. What I propose is we men organise a perv walk in every city to march down the street pointing at every bit of cleavage we see and shout, “Corrr… check out the tits on that one!”
The world needs to understand, that women dress up to be exhibitionists and not to be raped! (Again, this has nothing, repeat, NOTHING whatsoever to do with them seeking recognition from men. Women don’t need men for anything. Only men are so pathetic to actually need women).
Men, Get in Touch with Your Feelings
Men, we’re completely out of touch with our feelings it seems. I know it might seem at times it’s because our emotions aren’t the ones women want to acknowledge: like anger at injustice, kindness to other women, dedication to ones work, or curiosity in science and mechanics. But I’ve heard it on good authority from you-know-who, that the true emotions we men are struggling with deep down are the emotions telling us to tell a woman exactly what she wants to hear. When she’s having a bad day, don’t offer advice or suggest ways she could fix her problem, instead sit down and mope with her. Tell her that whoever has pissed her off is a tool and that she should feel completely self-justified because she could never do anything wrong. Don’t ever think that by offering constructive criticism you’re being supportive. Women need the emotional security of knowing that you’re her yes-man. But not because they’re emotional fragile in any way.
Oh, and never ever tell a woman how needy, lonely, hurt and afraid you are. That’s just loser talk and women don’t date losers. Besides, what woman would ever degrade herself to the point of putting as much effort into a relationship as she expects from a man? So the take home message here is to show insecurity, fear, tenderness, kindness and love to show that you’re human, but at the same time don’t show insecurity, fear, tenderness, kindness and love because she’ll think you’re a wuss and walk all over you.
Getting in Touch with Ones Masculine side
Women have been very kind to us men recently by pointing out to how far we’ve grown as human beings by being in touch with our feminine sides. Kindness, affection, love, tenderness are things women have naturally and we, violent narrow minded men, have had to learn from them. Since women are never assertive, angry or decisive like a man naturally it’s time we started to encourage women show more of their masculine side.
The next time she’s angry, assertive or decisive about anything, give her a kiss and tell her you really admire how in touch she is with her masculine side. Maybe point out from time to time, when she’s fixing a computer or being a handyman, how much you admire the size of her testicles and hairy chest. If she say’s you’re falling into the trap of defining certain human qualities as men or women only, remind her that love, kindness and affection couldn’t possibly be part of masculinity too, otherwise femininity might be a fraud.
Stop Trying to Fix Her Problems
One of the biggest complaints women have is that men keep trying to solve their emotional problems. For most men this might be their only socially acceptable way of showing how much they care for and love women and with it being closed off they’re now feeling rejected and pushed away, however, don’t fall into this trap. All she wants to do is to bitch and wallow in self-pity. It’s an important part of her self-identity to always feel as though her emotions are more important than anyone else’s and she’s the victim of a world that owes her an entitlement. Also, never forget, emotional harm is more important than physical harm so if a woman causes physical hurt and it was because she felt emotionally hurt and so then she’s completely justified.
Men, never ever think your emotional hurt is more important than any physical hurt a woman can inflict on you. This one just doesn’t go both ways because men, all long dead in the past, once treated women, all long dead in the past, this way so it’s our turn to cop this one for the team. Besides, what emotions do we have to be hurt?
Time to Get Castrated
Men might be wondering what an appropriate level of sexuality is for them to express if they’re called a creep just for noticing women’s cleavage. This is because we men need to understand that women have been sexually repressed and forbidden to have a sexual drive, so if men show any such desires to have sex they’re hurting women just by being men. Men need to show their sympathy for the plight of women by not responding to women’s desires to unleash their sexuality with mini-skirts and revealing clothing by tucking their balls between their legs and pretending they don’t notice. The signal men need to look for is whenever a woman doesn’t call them a creep, this indicates that she wants you, so it’s ok then to have a sex drive, otherwise, it’s just polite to pretend you’ve been castrated so as not to alarm any women with the notion you just might want to have sex with them. Nothing upsets women more than the thought that men might actually want to have sex with them. Because desiring to have sex with women is the same thing as wanting to rape them… so feminists keep saying.
Some men have pointed out that a sex-less marriage for a man is cruel and a breach of the marriage contract so therefore men have every right in dumping a woman for not having sex with him. However, one needs to remember that abandoning a woman is never ok, it’s a woman’s right to abandon a man if he doesn’t pleasure her enough, there’s plenty of other men about and so dumping him when he’s no longer useful will teach him for not being perfect. Don’t fall into self-pity here blokes, just suck it up and act perfect for them. That’s what they want.
Find Some Decent Role Models
Now some of you might be thinking that William Shakespeare, Mozart, Mahatma Ghandi, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Winston Churchill, William Blake, George Orwell, Albert Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus, Sir Robert Hooke, etc are all excellent examples of the intellectual, creative, moral and courageous nature of mankind. Guess again: Hitler, Stalin, Charles Manson, Mao, King Edward, King Henry VIII, Napoleon Bonaparte, Jack the Ripper and co are the real role models men have. Now the more astute men might have noticed that while men seem to have equal representation in the hall of heroes and villains women only have heroes in their hall of fame. Why to dare point out that female world leaders like: Catherine de Medici, Catherine the Great, Empress Marie-Therese, Queen Elizabeth, Queen Isabella, Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi and now Julia Gillard were all more than willing to commit atrocities and start wars just like their male counter parts is just madness. I mean seriously, women couldn’t possibly be just as corrupt and callous as men in the same situation! Power can’t corrupt women! Any suggestion that we fail to recognise at least some of these women as amongst the monsters of history purely because they’re women and we’re desperate to find role models for young women is pure madness. (But I think you’d find getting to know these women and their biographies will dispel any myths about the supposed meekness and incorruptibility of the fairer sex you might have).
Feminism is Lonely: She Needs a Man to Talk to
Feminism has long been the voice for women, but where’s the socio-political entity that speaks for men? Now, I know a lot of men get angry when they hear women say in one breath, “men also suffer a lot from the patriarchy because it dehumanises them,” and then in the next breath say, “men don’t need a voice like feminism because they already control every thing,” but we men are practical folk and getting angry over such hypocrisy is not our style. Rather, it’s about time we solved the biggest problem feminism has today: she’s lonely and doesn’t feel like any man takes her seriously. Well boys, it’s time we burned our boxers and brought masculinism to saddle up next to feminism and let her feel acknowledged so she doesn’t have to keep on screaming in the dark by herself.
Now she can have someone to talk back to her and tell her interesting things like:
- Why do so many feminist articles conclude with, “men did this to women making them victims,” instead of “women did this to themselves, making themselves victims?” Surely if women have the power to free themselves, without the aid of men, then they must have imprisoned themselves? Why is it so hard for feminists to acknowledge the men who help them? Why the insecure insistence that women have to do everything on their own? Why can’t they ever accept that a behind many successful women is a lot of men? Did the first female doctor teach herself? Did the first female lawyer have no male mentor? Men have been working hard to free women from oppression, but feminists seem utterly too insecure to admit it: the very fact they can write bitchy articles about men proves that men helped them once. Where’s the acknowledgement by feminists of the men who always wanted women to be free?
- If feminists want a women’s choice to have an abortion, then they need to give men the same choice to walk away from any parental responsibilities during the same time period that a woman can have an abortion. Fair is fair, give men the choice to have an abortion too, this compulsory child support business is just wrong, because it’s the woman’s choice to have a child.
- Why are men invisible when something good or tragic happens on the news, but are the cause of all the world’s wrong? (This video is a excellent example of this phenomenon).
- Why can’t feminists appreciate any of the good men do for women? I mean, even when men are being breadwinners for their families they’re treated like they’re the enemy: absent father, deadbeat dad or even taking a job away from a woman? I get it if he’s a wanker, but presumably she knew he was a wanker before she married him and if she didn’t why do men have to take collective responsibility for her individual stupidity? Every time I’ve wound up with an abusive girlfriend it was always my fault, but that’s fine by me, because that empowers me to grow and learn from my experience. Are women seriously encouraged to grow and learn from being with an abusive boyfriend or are they always perfectly innocent? I’m sick of being told by feminists how ingeniously manipulative I am in controlling women, apparently, I was told once that by being kind to women I’m manipulating them into liking me. Seriously. Even if that made sense, I’m not that smart. No man I know is that smart. But if you know an example, please let me know, I’d like to read it.
- Very often feminist research starts from the assumption that all women’s problems are caused by men and seeks to find evidence to prove this assumption. How is this not a cult of victimhood? If this doesn’t represent all feminists then why aren’t these people ostracised and publicly disgraced for hurting the image of feminism? Why is it men’s fault for “misunderstanding” what feminism is all the time? How can we be expected to trust a group who won’t police themselves?
And so I conclude as I began: feminism isn’t a socio-political tool for launching the academic and political careers of ruthless women hungry for power, and narcissistic self-worship. No women could ever think like that, they’re just all too nice. It’s just odd that’s been the only thing the feminist movement has visibly achieved. That and possibly making men feel ashamed for being alive. But hey, we’re tough. We can cop that. For now.
PS – If you liked this article or would like to read a more serious discussion of this subject please check out the following articles: