Author and cook Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer has an inspiring publication seemingly positioned at those affected most by the recent economic downturn. Although plenty of people swallow it daily, the concept of cooking it up into a gourmet meal remained taboo.
Until now.
Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes
“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”
The book contains recipes and full-colour photographs for meals across the entirety of the culinary menu, from drinks “The Almost White Russian” to starters “Man Made Oysters”, world-inspired meals such as “Tuna Sashimi with Dipping Sauce” through to desserts like “Creamy Cum Crepes” and “Spunky Candied Pecans”.
Spunky Candied Pecans - Video
The author does give the all-important warning, “Please do not add semen to your guest’s food without informing them beforehand,” and I thank him for that. While I’m typically OK risking it with a mystery meat on my plate and have even gone so far as to eat fried bugs, I would definitely need a warning and perhaps a doctor’s seal of approval on the producing male before digging in to any dish from Natural Harvest.
Never has a meal name brought on the hunger pangs faster.
- Buy The Book: Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes by Fotie Photenhauer in Cooking (Lulu.com)
- Related Links: The Semen Cookbook Review (Slashfood.com)
You'll never look at Krispy Kremes the same way again.
While I have to applaud his creativity, I, for one, don’t think Fotie’s culinary masterpieces would make me – ahem – come to the table.
Besides the obvious, as far as I can tell there aren’t all that many hearty dish suggestions in the book. If you’re a celebrated carnivore, perhaps something more like this book below may be more up your alley:
Squeamish men, cover your eyes. And your privates.
Ljubomir Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of “cooking with balls” make him a world authority in the field.
“The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites,” says the chef.
“The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles.”
Related Articles
- Buy The Book: The Testicle Cookbook – Cooking With Balls, by Ljubomir R. Erovic (Yudu.com)
- Related Link: Brilliant April Fools Prank: “Cooking With Cum” – Office Uses “Natural Harvest” on Co-Workers
- Warning: This is the most disgusting books. Ever. (jamieonline.wordpress.com)
I’m going to have to forward this to a couple of anthropologists I know to be working on this very matter… and hope they find time to share some of their research at some stage, although they are on fieldwork trips at the moment… and I dread to think what that entails.