Author and cook Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer has an inspiring publication seemingly positioned at those affected most by the recent economic downturn. Although plenty of people swallow it daily, the concept of cooking it up into a gourmet meal remained taboo.
“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”
The book contains recipes and full-colour photographs for meals across the entirety of the culinary menu, from drinks “The Almost White Russian” to starters “Man Made Oysters”, world-inspired meals such as “Tuna Sashimi with Dipping Sauce” through to desserts like “Creamy Cum Crepes” and “Spunky Candied Pecans”.
The author does give the all-important warning, “Please do not add semen to your guest’s food without informing them beforehand,” and I thank him for that. While I’m typically OK risking it with a mystery meat on my plate and have even gone so far as to eat fried bugs, I would definitely need a warning and perhaps a doctor’s seal of approval on the producing male before digging in to any dish from Natural Harvest.
- Buy The Book: Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes by Fotie Photenhauer in Cooking (Lulu.com)
- Related Links: The Semen Cookbook Review (Slashfood.com)
While I have to applaud his creativity, I, for one, don’t think Fotie’s culinary masterpieces would make me – ahem – come to the table.
Besides the obvious, as far as I can tell there aren’t all that many hearty dish suggestions in the book. If you’re a celebrated carnivore, perhaps something more like this book below may be more up your alley:
Ljubomir Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of “cooking with balls” make him a world authority in the field.
“The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites,” says the chef.
“The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles.”
- Buy The Book: The Testicle Cookbook – Cooking With Balls, by Ljubomir R. Erovic (Yudu.com)
- Related Link: Brilliant April Fools Prank: “Cooking With Cum” – Office Uses “Natural Harvest” on Co-Workers
- Warning: This is the most disgusting books. Ever. (jamieonline.wordpress.com)